Dave Tanzi

In this week's episode, we save the planet (but not the Gulf, you guys are probably screwed), Viva Los Soles!, and a Stiffler's Mom situation in Cleveland.

TITANIC NOTION:  Much has been proposed to stop the spewing oil in the gulf, from the failed box cap, to filling it with garbage, or detonating the hole like the entrance to an old coal mine.  You know that BP, the US government and the Army Corp of Engineers have concocted almost every possible solution, and so far they have come up empty handed.  They need a true visionary, an aquatic explorer and problem solver, and noted conservationist.  And most importantly, someone experienced in managing hundred million dollar projects that sometimes seem to be sinking.  This is why I believe there is only one man who can save you - James Cameron.  And if that doesn't work, just remember, you are Super Bowl Champions, and no one can take that away from you.

LOGIC IS LONG OVERDUE: Did you know that all the millions of gallons of oil that's been spewed into the gulf so far wouldn't even account for 66% of what America consumes on a daily basis?  I used to ride a motorcycle exclusively, and something occurred to me as I was mentally calculating my forthcoming monthly savings on gas: I should get a tax credit for this. Or, at the very least, some public credit. By even the most conservative estimation the average motorcycle gets two to three times the fuel efficiency of the average car, and produces less than half as much harmful emissions. Besides the thumbs up for the diamond lane where's the green love for our nation's two-wheelers?

Speaking of green, I almost never carry it with me now - don't need it. These days, one could literally purchase sex and drugs on a debit card. But how about from now on we ONLY print receipts for items less than $10 WHEN REQUESTED. I bought a DVD from Best Buy for $6.99 and it came with a receipt that was 3 yards long. And really, who needs a record of their Slurpee purchase at 7/11?  The worst violators of this are the phone company.  Every six months they drop off two 600 page volumes of white and yellow pages to every single residential unit in the land.  Never mind that half of them are unoccupied, or that most of us 21st century types haven't picked up a Yellowpages in about a decade. 

DELONTE WEST BANGED MY MOM AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT:  The latest and most controversial internet rumor is that LeBron James' tanking performance in the Celtics series was the result of an emotional breakdown from learning of a romantic affair between his mother Gloria and teammate Delonte West.  This is exactly the type of ridiculous speculation that would be easily dismissed if you've never seen photos of Delonte West and Lebron's mom (they kind of make a nice couple).  Also, Wild West is the same dude who got arrested for driving his ATV on the highway with multiple loaded shotguns, pistols, and a machete.  How is this guy still playing in the league?

POWER RESERVE:  Fueled by 54 points from their bench and six players scoring in double figures the Suns evened their series with the Lakers at 2-2.  The win guarantees a game 6 back in Phoenix on Saturday night, but before that, come join us and another raucous crowd this Thursday night for game 5 at the G & T, tip off @ 6pm.